And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
is it fun? or sober?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
