We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
