I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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