I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize