So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
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