Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
