There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
This baby is an asshole
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
