you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
