is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
