I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
