Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(443): View more from Maryland

a queef is a wish your heart makes.

Fav 20 1552 3482
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.

Fav 9 5065 1455
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(573): View more from Missouri

Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby

Fav 7 2889 1298
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(909): View more from California

Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.

Fav 5 2054 874
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.

Fav 12 2375 1287
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(336): View more from North Carolina

There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed

Fav 4 1640 1081
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(510): View more from California

Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.

Fav 3 3001 1066
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(415): View more from California

You've created a tinder dominating monster.

Fav 1 532 466
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(651): View more from Minnesota

I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering

Fav 0 11 55
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