Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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