it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
