I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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