dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
