i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
