One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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