But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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