Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize