...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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