i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
