she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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