I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
