dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
When are your genitals available?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
