so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
