The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
