I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
