I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
