At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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