I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
