i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
