Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
