Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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