I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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