Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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