we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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