All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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