Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
