She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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