Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
