i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He shit in the fireplace
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
