ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
