I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
