There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
