im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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