you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
