After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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