just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
