I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
