There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
