guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
