I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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