I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Too much gin, very little bucket
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
