Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
