I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
