"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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