Nicole vs. Life
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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