I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize