at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
