Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
