The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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