Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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