i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
