If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
