oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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