I wish you could order shots online.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize