I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
