Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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