And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
